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Eight ’80s TV Shows that I Wish Were on Rerun

September 26, 2011

Jem and the Holograms (1985-1988)

Just the Ten of Us (1988-1990)

Amen (1986-1991)

Mr. Belvedere (1985-1990)

Perfect Strangers (1986-1993)

Designing Women (1986-1993)

Punky Brewster (1984-1988)

My Two Dads (1987-1990)

If your favorite ’80s show isn’t featured, leave a comment and share which ’80s television gems live on in your heart, mind and footie pajamas (I know you have them…or at least want them.)

My Kentucky Home: Side-Splitting Signage

September 24, 2011

Quality Car Wash - Barbourville, KY

Let’s hope that the quality of their wash is infinitely better than the quality of their sign.

Movies #5 Women's Bathroom - Paintsville, KY

 But, what if your hand cramps and you can only hold down the handle for 4.4 seconds? That doesn’t even round up to five. What then? WHAT THEN?!

S&M Grocery - RT 11 between Manchester, KY & Barbourville, KY

“Hey there, Dee-wayne, son. I’m gon’ need to get me a Slim Jim, a Ale-8 and tied up real quick. Oh, and can I get that camouflage gag ball o’vere?”

Hugh Jass Burgers - Lexington, KY

 Man on Sidewalk 1: “I’m really in the mood for a burger…maybe a tossed salad.”

Man on Sidewalk 2: “Let’s go eat out at Hugh Jass over there.”

Man on Sidewalk 1: “I don’t know, that Hugh Jass looks mighty crowded. It may be a tight squeeze.”

Man on Sidewalk 2: “Get real! You know we can come into Hugh Jass anytime we want!”

Fin.

Frugal Fun: “I’m the witch!”

September 23, 2011
My daughter, Delilah, proudly wearing her new $1 Frugal Fun witch hat!

With $1 you can buy a JBC from Wendy’s, less than 1/3 of a gallon of gas or do what I did and make a Frugal Fun purchase that will bring your child endless amounts of creative play and, for my daughter, spellbinding adventure.

Over the weekend I bought this polka dot witch hat from Dollar Discount in Paintsville, KY for, you guessed it, one buck. My spontaneous purchase was inspired by Delilah’s fascination with the Harry Potter films, her love of the game The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time‘s witch twins Kotake and Koume (a.k.a. Twinrova) as well as her desire to watch Hocus Pocus*, which is the next movie scheduled to arrive via our Netlfix…er…Qwikster DVD queue. (WARNING: If you are not down with the Sanderson sisters and a young Agent McGee, then kindly navigate away from this blog.)

This witch hat surprise prompted hours of throwing imaginary fireballs at Grandmom’s dog, Sampson (I know what you’re thinking, “Sampson and Delilah?!” Yes, I’m aware. Har-har), perfecting her spooky laugh and flying through the air with a little help from a broom, some “fairy dust” and my husband’s upper body strength.

The moral? You don’t have to pour out your pockets in order to entertain your child. Simplicity will bring smiles—like the one on Delilah’s face—to both you and your child just as easily as extravagance. “Imagination is the highest kite one can fly (author unknown),” or in this case, the highest broom.

Watch the clip below to see Delilah making full use of her new head ornament while enchanting us all with her kiddie cackle. Oh, and enjoy my Southern drawl.

Mood: Magical

Currently listening to: Ween – “Voodoo Lady”

Condom Concealment

September 23, 2011
Purple Condom2

See that? To the left. Yes, that is a CONDOM. A rubber. A Jimmy hat. A love glove. Granted, it looks like contraception meant for Willy Wonka’s willie, but I digress. To all of you parents out there in the blogosphere, I pose this question: Where do you stash your prophylactics?

Why is this a pertinent issue? Because if any of you have a toddler, or a preschooler as my husband and I do, the last thing you want interrupting your  Friday evening Criminal Minds marathon is your child running excitedly from your bedroom and screaming, “CANDY!” or, “BALLOONS!” We hide our salami slings in a discrete night stand basket.

So, fess up. Parents, where do you hide your stash of Great Barrier Sheaths?

Mood: HOT! No, seriously. It’s around 77 degrees in here.

Currently listening to: Ben Deignan – “Ride It (My Pony)” – Ginuwine Cover 

Greetings, Salutations and a Binding Blogging Agreement

September 22, 2011

After days of contemplating which service I should use to host my blog, here I am. The selection process felt a bit like choosing a new journal. And THAT, well, that prompts a cold sweat and leaves me teetering on the edge of a panic attack. But my reaction is understandable given all there is to consider:  appearance, feel, cost, lined versus unlined pages, all of which I mulled over during my blog host search. Well, minus the lined versus unlined debate (BTW, unlined. Always.) Now that I have settled in at WordPress I am faced with a new challenge: posting daily. In yet another moment of comparison between my history of journal and blog use lies my tendency to romance the notions of journaling and blogging rather than adopting consistent writing and posting habits. This trend ends…now!

I hereby pledge to add a minimum of one new post per day to this blog.

There. It’s binding. It’s out in the universe. If I go back on my word then I put myself at the mercy of the blogosphere gods and karma herself, who would likely drain me of my creative blood and fill my veins with pints of lame and suck. And, coming from someone who has experienced multiple transfusions, I ain’t gonna risk it.

Subscribe, strap in (or on) and show up for my next post.

Until then…

Currently listening to: Cold War Kids – “Hospital Beds” 

Mood: Totally jazzed